Happy Wednesday, church family!
My husband Dave is not a hypochondriac or pessimistic, but if there’s something slightly off with his body, panic ensues. That little bump on his arm? It’s probably a cancerous, gangrenous tumor that will result in amputation. Headache= Aneurysm. I, on the other hand, tend to be the opposite, to a fault. I may fret and worry about the process of healing something (read: surgery or needles), but the actual issue at hand? Megh, whatever, it’ll be fine. Then 2 weeks ago, I had a root canal for the first time, and the healing process kind of broke me.
My jaw was in a lot of pain- I couldn’t open my mouth properly to take a bite of a sandwich. It even hurt to smile. Then I made the cardinal mistake, and consulted Dr. Google. I was in mental panic mode. One night I couldn’t sleep- my mind was racing about having a functioning jaw. Then I thought, perhaps I should pray about the pain, more than a “God please heal me”. What a novel idea! I spent some time sharing with God about how freaked out I was, and then I actually put my hand on my jaw and prayed for it. My mind and body relaxed, and I was finally able to sleep. The next day, I woke up, hoping that everything had been healed overnight, and had to calm myself down when it wasn’t. So, I popped a few ibuprofen, and busied myself with activities of the day. My rational brain told me that things would be fine at some point. My irrational thoughts told me once again that I would never again be able to eat a hamburger properly. Each day that the pain didn’t change, the freak out moments would come. But somehow, once I reminded myself that I had invited Jesus in, I was able to bring myself down a little quicker. One morning I even heard Him say, “Just give it a few more days”.
I was slightly distracted from the dull ache, listening to Kurt’s sermon, until he said the phrase “faith over control”. I realized that I had been allowing fear and pain, and the desire to control the two, to overcome my faith. I had been wallowing in “what if”, instead of letting Jesus carry the weight of worry for me.
Friends, I don’t know about you, but I honestly don’t always think about inviting Jesus into the little things of my life. I mean, it seems more “important” to ask Him to come into big struggles, like decisions, or dealing with people. A hurting jaw after a dental procedure seems so mundane, and, I don’t know, small? Yet, there I was, controlled by fear and pain. I was still trying to control something, I was still letting the desire to do things myself (ie, worry) squish out my faith. Yet once I invited Jesus into that moment, and shared with Him not only the pain, but the fear, a funny thing happened: I calmed down. (let’s be honest, not completely, but still an improvement!). And you know what? A few more days passed, and yesterday, I woke up with almost no jaw pain, just like He said.
Jesus, thank You for the reminder that no matter how big or small something is, that You want to hear ALL the things, and walk alongside me through it, carrying it so I don’t have to. I choose to come to You with not only the events in my life, but the emotions that stem from them. Thank You that once again, I can comfortably eat a hamburger! Bless and seal these good things in Your name, amen.
May your week be blessed,
Lisa
