Happy Wednesday, church family!
One day at my daughters swim team practice, she refused to get in the pool. There was no reason, she just didn’t want to. She wouldn’t move, wouldn't say anything other than “NO”. There was nothing I could do or say that would make her get in the water, short of picking her up and throwing her in. Deciding that it would be best not to have the entire pool deck’s population witness a meltdown (from me, not her), I decided to let her stubbornness win, and we went home. I remember thinking, “Jeez, she’s so stubborn, she wouldn’t even talk!” I was so frustrated with her. I mean, I’m not that stubborn! Then as I was asking Jesus what He wanted me to work on this week, He brought this story to my mind, and in so many words, reminded me that I am just as stubborn. Gulp.
In Andy’s sermon this week, a line stuck out to me: The lie in all of this is that Satan, and this beast, want Jesus removed from the center of your life. Let’s put stubborn Lisa together with Satan’s goal of dethroning Jesus in our lives…. Enter unforgiveness. Ooooh boy. Here we go. There are a couple people in my life I really struggle with. They have hurt me, annoyed me, and, well, I don’t wanna forgive them (*foot stomp*). I know I need to, I’m the one struggling here, not them. It’s a process, and honestly I have been working on it. Wait, did you read what I said there? *I* have been working on it. Not ‘I’ve been talking to Jesus about it’. Just me. Well, that’s not productive. Why aren’t I inviting Jesus in? Because I’m too darn stubborn. If I invite Jesus in, then I know I’ll have to do some good old fashioned forgiveness work, and I’ll have to stop griping about these people. (Yes, I know how that sounds, and no, I’m not proud of it).
Wouldn’t you know, this week, within 3 days, I interacted with both of these individuals. Here’s the catch- for the first time, I prayed before each interaction. Friends, this was not a big drawn out prayer. I think my exact words were, “Jesus, come in. Jesus help”. Guess what. The interactions weren’t as bad as I was expecting them to be. Yet even in the midst of patting myself on the back for actually remembering to pray beforehand, Satan was trying to get me to ignore Jesus. I heard things like, “Eh, they were just in a good mood, it wasn’t the prayer.” Ugh.
I’m learning that even when I think Jesus is at the center of my life, there are aspects that I just keep clinging onto, and allow that slow boil of the enemy’s influence to seep in through the cracks. But I’m over it. Or at least I choose to be over it today, which is all I've got. Today, I choose to squash the enemy’s whispers. Instead, continue to invite Jesus into all areas of my life, even the ones I’ve been hesitant too, out of sheer stubbornness!
Jesus, I receive Your forgiveness for clinging onto whatever feeling I get from not forgiving. I’m sorry for trying to do it by myself, I realize it’s getting me nowhere, yet with a few simple words, You bring in peace that for some reason still surprises me. Thank You for always waiting there for me with open arms, to protect me and give me peace. Bless and seal all the good things I’m realizing in me, in Jesus name, amen.
May your week be blessed,
Lisa
