Happy Wednesday, church family!

I remember one evening my sophomore year in college, I was sitting at my desk studying for an anatomy lab exam (you know, just trying to memorize every single nerve in the body). I was completely and totally overwhelmed. I was behind in all my coursework in general, trying to decide if I should change my major, and just trying to process whatever else was going on in my 19 year brain. So back to today’s time, one would think that when my 19 year old sophomore in college daughter experienced a bout of being overwhelmed, I would completely understand. Wrong. 

Thankfully, for my daughter’s sake, I kept my mouth shut and just listened. But, man, my heart and mind were NOT in agreement. Come on, suck it up, buttercup! The stuff you’re overwhelmed with is not that much. I found myself comparing her to me, yet with a slightly skewed memory of that age. A few days later, she slept through a midterm.  As she was groggily pulling herself from bed, and I was muttering sarcastic things about not sleeping in, the words from Sunday’s sermon came screaming back to me:

Jesus never terminates his love for me when I fail,

and the same goes for you. The big mistakes and the small ones…

He never stops loving me.

Gosh darnit. I wasn’t terminating my love for my daughter, but I was certainly not showing love in that moment. In that split second of my remembering the sermon, I realized she didn’t need criticism and chastising right then, but support, and guidance. She was overwhelmed, and wasn’t sure what to do next. And frankly, she was upset at herself enough for the both of us. She’s never done this before, and here I was, holding her to the standard of perfection. Was my response and attitude the best I could have done? Nope. I’m pretty sure some irritation leaked into my tone, but the Holy Spirit kept everything else wrangled in

Friends, when I mess up, when I’m overwhelmed, Jesus doesn’t shove my face in what I did, or should have done. Rather, He waits for me to come to Him, listens, guides, yes, chastises, but with gentleness. My mess-ups don’t cause Him to stop loving me. As a parent, I want to model this love to my children, and be the safe place they can come when they fail, knowing that nothing they do will change my love for them. Will there be times when real frustration and chastising is warranted? Absolutely. But that’s a story for another day. 

Jesus, thank You for loving me in spite of my shortcomings. I choose to accept Your love and grace when I’m not perfect, and to include that grace and compassion when it comes to my relationship with my children. Thank you for my girls, and the relationship we have. Bless and seal all these good things in Your name, amen!

May your week be blessed,

Lisa

Happy Wednesday, church family!

Some people love to change things up constantly. They never eat leftovers, order something new every time at a restaurant, and thrive on ‘out with the old, in with the new’. I, on the other hand, have had the same breakfast for decades. I find what I like at a restaurant and rarely veer from it, and when something ends, it makes me sad. OK, fine, yes, I do have a hard time letting go, but that’s an essay in itself. 

Let’s talk about change. On Sunday, Andy preached about breaking generational curses and choices through changing the way we think and choosing differently. Even though ordering something new brings excitement to some people, I think deeper rooted changes are a lot more difficult. We humans are creatures of habit, not necessarily in what we do, but in how we think, and changing those thought patterns does not come easy. 

I was raised to downplay successes; I could be proud of what I accomplished, but taught/shown never to brag, or bring attention to myself. The combination of the women’s retreat and this Sunday’s sermon made me realize that this way of thinking had become so ingrained in me, that it’s shifted the way I’ve thought about myself. I learned to diminish my needs and wants as well, as I don’t want to burden others with my stuff. 

Without getting into the nitty gritty details, it’s time for a change in thinking. The problem with shifting my thoughts is that it takes work! First of all, I have to consciously be aware of what I want to change, then notice when I’m thinking/making decisions based on that mentality. Then I have to catch myself when I’m thinking the old ways, and remind myself of what Jesus’ truth is. Because, friends, let’s be honest. Those old thoughts I have that I want to change? Well, they aren’t how God sees me. 

God, I’ve resisted change all my life. Sometimes, it’s not that big of a deal (like my smoothie choice). But when it comes to ignoring how You see me, and making choices that are just “what I’ve always done”, well, those are the thoughts I need to change. I choose to think differently. I choose to change my mentality to believe in Your truth, I choose to change the way I’ve thought about myself and others, and make the decision daily/hourly to believe Your truth rather than something I’ve heard from others. Thank You for loving me. Bless and seal these good things, in Your name, amen.

May your week be blessed,

Lisa

Happy Wednesday, church family!

When you feel so mad

That you want to roar

Take a deep breath

And count to four

~Daniel Tiger

For those of you who are lost as to who Daniel Tiger is, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is the new reboot of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood for today’s kiddos. It’s kind of silly, when you think about it, that sometimes we need the reminder of a children’s jingle to remember things, like not flying off the handle in anger. 

In Sunday’s sermon, Andy described Joseph coming face to face with his brothers who had completely and totally wronged him. Forgiveness or not, I’m sorry, but if someone who had hurt me that bad, both physically and emotionally, came back into my life, I would struggle to not want to do something very un-Christlike. Those poop heads need to PAY!!! Yet, Joseph took a deep breath, and counted to four (well, really 3 days). 

At the women’s retreat this weekend, one morning we talked as a group about what it looks like to interact with someone who isn’t safe, someone who reminds us quite a bit of Joseph’s brothers. I shared about an individual who I have to remind myself daily to forgive. When I am about to see them, if I go in quickly, and just plow forward, I almost always come out hot and fired up. What I’ve learned (ok, fine, I’m still working on), is that I need to take that deep breath and count to four before I even get to the point of anger. The times that I sit in the car for a moment, take the time to invite Jesus in, ask Him to protect my mind, and give Him the situation, I come out less agitated. 

Friends, once again, I am reminded to slow down… this time by Joseph and a cartoon tiger. Nothing good comes of my constant rushing, especially in a high stakes emotional moment. I don’t want to be driven by my emotions, instead, I want to have the wherewithal to take deep breaths, and enter a situation prayerfully and with Jesus at the helm.

God, I reject the lie that I have to constantly be in a rush. I choose to slow down, to take deep breaths, and invite You in, especially in the moments before an interaction that has the possibility of bringing up old hurts. Bless and seal these good things, in Your name, amen.

May your week be blessed,

Lisa

Happy Wednesday, church family!

We have a little saying in our family, “if it’s a rare chance, it’ll happen to us”. Why? Well, we’re a rare family. I had female anatomy issues that occur in 0.1-0.5% of women. My husband Dave had a rare form of acne that occurs in less than 1% of the population (and he’s even in a medical journal!). You have a 0.13-0.19% chance of developing the eye condition my daughter Kara has had two surgeries for, and the type of hearing loss my daughter Ari has affects so few people, that there is hardly any medical research on it. So when, today, my endodontist said it looks like I may be the 2% of people who have permanent nerve damage from a root canal, I just sighed. 

Don’t get me wrong, that sigh was accompanied with a lot more feeling and frustration. It’s not fair, most people who have a root canal go on their merry way without any other issues. Me? Nope. I get to be that small percentage who will most likely always have pain. Fabulous. The endodontist said there’s a slight chance it may just be slow healing, but he wouldn’t sit around and wait for that to happen. It wasn’t til I sat down to write this that I realized the parallels to this week’s sermon of waiting and suffering. OK, I know a nerve damaged painful tooth isn’t that bad, as pain goes, but let’s be honest, it sucks. 

Now what? Well, I can sit around and mope. I can decide to focus on the pain daily, and constantly be irritated that it’s there. Honestly, that’s what I’ve been doing the last 2 months, and it’s not going very well. My other option is to accept that this is my new normal. It could be better, but it also could be worse. I don’t want it to interfere with life. I want to give the pain, the irritation, the disappointment, all to Jesus, and invite Him into whatever the outcome may be. I don’t want to wait for an outcome I can’t control. It seems so simple and kind of silly; this analogy of my tooth and inviting Jesus into the period of waiting, but sometimes, that’s the way it is. Also, if I practice giving Him control over the little things, perhaps it’ll be easier when the big things come along. 

Jesus, I give you my tooth (that feels so weird to say!), and the nerve damage it has. I would be so happy if You were to heal it, but if this is it, I still give it to You. I give You the preoccupation, the frustration, and the pain itself. I choose to use this as an opportunity to practice inviting You in, and letting You carry it for me. I know that something like this can’t stop the plans You have for me. Bless and seal these good things, in Your name, amen. 

May your week be blessed,

Lisa